the nurse inserts the cannula, i say ‘thank you for not hurting me’.
my mate thinks i can’t accept help. over the phone she says ‘you won’t let anyone take care of you, you want to do all the caring, that’s not fair’.
s comes over to my apartment, we eat vietnamese food. i look tired, my body aches, she wants to give me a massage. when her hands touch the back of my neck i think of my mother, i don’t know why. she rubs my shoulders and i cry a bit. a small part of me thinks i don’t deserve it, is ashamed of needing anything from anyone outside of myself. the loudest voice inside my head says ‘take the love, why won’t you take the love?’
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Emile Friant, Les Amoureux (Soir d’automne, Idylle sur la passerelle)(1888)
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last text messages from the victims of the daegu subway fire on february 18, 2003.
“There’s a fire. I will go to heaven first.”
“Without oppa you must not skip meals and listen to your parents.. get itㅋㅋ and don’t wait for me I won’t come”
“Study hard and be a good person. Dad is sorry.”
“What if I suddenly disappear tomorrow? What would you do? just curious ㅎㅎ”
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